


canon

by orphan_account



Category: Ylvis
Genre: I mean, M/M, Sibling Incest, Step Brother AU, au in which bård is a teen blogger, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-21
Updated: 2014-07-23
Packaged: 2018-02-05 15:19:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1823137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>imagine one evening home alone, a stranger comes through your door in the most awkward way possible. well thats just what happened to Bård ylvisåker.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. text post by

**Author's Note:**

> lmao i've wanted to write this for.. well ok not that long but it's a fun idea i've discussed w my friends. im not sure when i'll update again as I'm going on holiday on wednesday, but I hope you'll stick with it cos this could become a fun experiment lmao.
> 
> this is not how the entire fic will be written though, this will come occasionally just to give some insight for bård

Text post by user: Bylvisaker.

25th March.

Hello, internet! Yes I'm back. Under a much more mature username, as I myself have grown far more mature since the last time I attempted this.

Due to an enormous response upon asking if I should return to blogging, both negative and positive, I have decided to come back, and theres nothing you can do to stop me. 

Will be updating you on my life since I quit in a moment.

\- bylvisaker

 

Text post by user: Bylvisaker.

25th March.

So basically, if you didn't hear, I quit this site because an huge amount of negativity towards me, which i feel was totally undeserved, but thats not important anymore, so I won't be talking any more of that. I'm back now, and as I said, I'm gonna give you some information!

Since i left back when I was 16, I have moved to a new city with my mom after her divorce, I enrolled in a new school and picked up several after school activities, most of which involve things I already did before hand such as; photography, music and acting. I've gotten pretty good at the guitar now, my dad bought me a Gibson after I guilt tripped him into it, and acting class is giving me a great chance of becoming better at talking in public.

As these past two years have swept by, I've also gotten to know myself better. I've found out I'm lactose intolorant, I cannot stand mashed potatoes, and I'm bisexual. Yep. You heard me, I like both girls and boys.  
It all started the very first day at my new school. I was nervous and felt like I was gonna throw up the moment I went through the front door, felt as if everyone was staring at me and judging me. Let me add that at this time I was heavily affected by how my dad had been treating me, and I'd grown self-aware of the bright purple hair I was rocking, and was starting to dislike it. Years prior I'd loved colouring my hair these crazy colours, but at that moment I decided that after school, I was going to the nearest store and buying the hair dye closest to my natural hair colour.  
Anyway, so I was sure I was gonna hurl, and then, just like in all those crappy teen romcoms, someone pops out and walks right into me. It turns out to be a boy, with the most amazing brown eyes I'd ever seen. As the thought of how gorgeous his eyes were, I felt even more sick and I... threw up all over him.  
But it wasn't all bad! He said it was alright and even walked me to the nurse, and even though I'd blown chunks all over his converse shoes, he still gave me head two months later at a party, and I was seeing stars.

Nothing special happened with him anyway, we're still friends but meh.

Anyway, my grades stayed like they always have, average with the help of luck and a little cheating, and my mom was satisfied. She was a little disappointed I wasn't more outgoing and didn't have very many friends, but idc. I had my pals back home, still bitter that our band had to split up when I moved.  
We didn't really do anything special, just some garage practices, but it was fun while it lasted.

Anyway, if you've been following my youtube account, you'll have noticed I've done some covers with my friend Sondre.

Most recenly in my life though, is we've moved again. I've just settled into the house, found my room and put up posters etc, and it feels rather odd smelling this old air again. It kinda makes me wonder who used to own this room.  
The reason we've moved is because my mom has been seeing this guy, and they've been pretty serious for like half a year, but she didn't tell me until like a fucking month ago! So now they wanna move in together, and this dude has a son, whom I've never met, but my mom says he's very clever. Either way, this is gonna be strange, and I'm not sure what I'll think of this son of his, only time will tell.  
They're arriving on friday, in four days, so the suspense is thrilling!

\- bylvisaker

 

Text post by user: Bylvisaker.

25th March.

I forgot to tell you, this blog will be a mixture of all my interests, private thoughts and ramblings(and rants), happenings in my life, unprofessional photoshoots, music, and anything I deep worthy of this. 

Also follow me on Tumblr, Twitter, Youtube and IG :)

\- bylvisaker

 

Text post by user: Bylvisaker.

26th March.

K, it's one in the morning and I just woke up to remind you that if you have any questions, feel free to ask, I'll answer them all tomorrow! :)

\- bylvisaker

 

Text post by user: Bylvisaker.

26th March.

Good morning gyus, just a small acknowledgment that I have received all your messages and will be answering your questions after school today.

\- bylvisaker

 

Text post by user: Bylvisaker.

26th March.

Why is it teachers think it's appropriate to joke about girls revealing t-shirts in class to get better grades?

\- bylvisaker

Text post by user: Bylvisaker.

26th March.

The cute girl in front of me just asked if I wanted to go see a movie with her this friday evening.  
I had to say no because my mom would kill me if I'm not there when my new ”brother” and step-father arrive, but we're apparently going out some other day instead. #score

\- bylvisaker

 

Text post by user: Bylvisaker.

26th March.

Ew the teacher had me get up and read about Denmark during WW2, can u not.

\- bylvisaker

 

Text post by user: Bylvisaker.

26th March.

Yes I'm liveblogging class shush

\- bylvisaker

 

Text post by user: Bylvisaker.

26th March.

My phone got confiscated lmao, but now school is over and I'm heading home. Will be answering ur questions momentarily!

\- bylvisaker

 

Text post by user: Bylvisaker.

26th March.

Alright, answers coming up, prep urselves!

\- bylvisaker

 

Text post by user: Bylvisaker.

26th March.

Q & A

What's your name?

Bård Ylvisåker.

How old are you? 

I am 18 years old. 

What school do you go to?

I'm not giving you the name, if you really wanna know you can figure it out pretty easily.

Why did you quit your old blog?

Well I said there was a lot of negative comments and it was suffocating tbh.

What did you get hate for?

Lets just say I posted some nsfw things and stuff and it all blew out of proportions.

Can we see a picture of you?

[image]

omg i love you, i used to follow your old blog and followed you on IG and twitter when you quit here and I'm sO GLAD YOU ARE BACK ILY

aw I'm glad you're glad :)

alright I think those are some basic questions to cover stuff, I'm gonna make myself some toast. Ttyl.

\- bylvisaker

 

Text post by user: Bylvisaker.

27th March.

Our stupid fat cat just fell out the window.

He's fine, but this just proves how fucking dumb he is, really.

\- bylvisaker

 

Text post by user: Bylvisaker.

27th March.

And to think, he came into my room and lay down right against my leg and demanded me to feel bad for his fat ass. I didn't even grant him a look.

\- bylvisaker

 

Text post by user: Bylvisaker.

27th March.

Wow I didn't expect to get messages about this lmao.

Chill guys, I'm not a cat person but I'm not mean to the cat either. He just looks like hes up to something and is ready to kill me, although i doubt he could do anything like that as he's as round as a ball and can't do shit without tipping over and falling asleep.

\- bylvisaker

 

Text post by user: Bylvisaker.

28th March.

Broke a string on my guitar today. Fml.

\- bylvisaker

 

Text post by user: Bylvisaker.

28th March.

Can't go buy new strings cos I've got a class w my acting group. Could probably skip it but I don't think I will.

\- bylvisaker

 

Text post by user: Bylvisaker.

29th March.

SO I'M HOME ALONE AND SUDDENLY SOME GUY OPENS THE FRONT DOOR, PETS MY CAT, SEES ME AND LEAVES. 

WHAT THE HELL

\- bylvisaker

 

Text post by user: Bylvisaker.

29th March.

Update: so I just met my step-brother.

\- bylvisaker


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is rather rather short, but there'll be more shortly

It was a strange first encounter, the one the new brothers had. Bård had positioned himself in the middle of the sofa and was watching tv, having completely blanked out that his new family members were moving in that evening, and was thus not expecting anyone. He hadn't payed attention when his mother told him where she'd gone, he simply assumed she'd gone to the store. 

Their cat, Bastard, as Bård so lovingly had named him, was meowing impatiently at the door, wanting to be let out, but Bård had no intentions of getting up. He was seated well, pillows behind his back and a blanket around him, and he was texting idly with a friend, absently looking up at the tv screen once in a while. 

It was at that moment the door suddenly opened, a quiet voice suddenly said.

”Oh hi! Aren't you a pretty little boy!” It was said in a hushed voice, but it still made Bård freeze completely and look up with dread. That was not his mothers voice, this was an unknown voice and it seemed to be directed at him!  
Slowly, he leaned over on the couch to get a better view at the door, and saw someone bent down at the front door petting Bård's eager fat cat, talking childishly to it and praising it.  
The sofa squeaked as Bård leaned, and the noise startled the black haired person at the door, and he looked up quickly. 

It was an nausiatingly awkward pause that lasted when Bård locked eyes with the brown eyed boy, when the stranger realized Bård had heard every word he'd said. Bård could see the pain in his eyes, and saw how his cheeks flushed slightly, but all he could do in response was raise an eyebrow. 

The moment didn't last long, the boy stood up quickly and left the same way he'd arrived, shutting the door loudly after himself, leaving Bård slightly disturbed and trying to fit the whole thing together.

He stood up slowly and walked towards the door, but didn't get very far before his mother came through it, smiling and carrying a heavy backpack.

”Hey sweetheart, did Vegard come in here?” She asked breathless, putting the bag down with a thud.

”Who?” Bård assumed she meant the awkward boy he'd locked eyes with earlier, but decided to play ignorant. 

”Peters son, he was coming in with some of his stuff, you haven't seen him?” 

”If he's got black hair and talks to animals, then yes, but he left the moment he saw me.” Bård snickered. ”Guess he can't handle this!”

”Oh shush, he's a little shy, but be nice alright? He's very bright and very sweet, and you're gonna be brothers now!” Bård's mother replied, heading out again.

”He's not my brother! I'm serious, also what if I start crushing on him, you can't stop me from that, he's not my sibling!” Bård called out, laughing as his mother sent him a glance.

”Be serious Bård, and behave.” She went out again.

In and out she came, and every time, Bård added another snarky remark about how the new guy wasn't his brother and under no circumstances would be, and each time his mother rolled her eyes and went out again for more things.

”Mom, I'm serious, like what would you do if one day me and him came in declaring our undying love for one another and threatened with eloping if you wouldn't accept.. us..” Bård stopped talking as quickly behind his mother, two men came in, one tall elder man with an amused smile on his lips and his hand on the others shoulder, who just happened to be the very same awkward boy he'd seen earlier. What had his mother said his name was? Vegard?  
Either way, the boy was blushing wildly and his eyes quickly went to the floor, and Bård could feel his own face burning.


End file.
